Saturday, February 7, 2009

Grown Children

I just got an email from penpen3, with a link to her blog: http://www.grownchildren.net/. If you have grown children, you will likely enjoy her blog.

I enjoyed what she wrote so much that I read every article on the blog. So many of her thoughts seemed as if I could have written them, especially the one about parenting styles of her grown children. My grown children's parenting styles are just the same, which causes all kinds of friction when they are all visiting over holidays. It was refreshing to know that my husband and I are not the only ones facing these types of issues.

More and more, grown children are moving in with parents, bringing their families with them. What is really surprising is that more and more parents are moving in with their grown children's families. Both scenarios are caused by the financial stresses of our times.

It would be great to be in a position to help your grown children anytime they need it, but in this year of the financial meltdown, parents often do not have the means to do so. Again, parents are often the ones who need the help, but this causes stress on the children's families--something many parents are not willing to do, even when they need the help.

Living together can--not necessarily will--make financial issues easier on both generations. At the same time, it raises the household expenses by at least half. More water used, since everyone bathes and has clothes to wash. More electricity used, since more people watch television, use computers, and burn lights. Before moving in with each other, the parents and their grown children should sit down and come up with an agreement on how bills will be paid, who will be responsible for which, or maybe just put all the bills into a pile and each pays half. Whatever the agreement, it needs to be fair to both parties.

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